The Purpose of Self-Care
Spring. A season of beginnings. As the days grow warmer and longer, many of us are caught daydreaming of the adventures we will go on in the summer months to come. However, for some, this month is a time dedicated to intense studying, too many energy drinks, and at least one mental crisis. I am talking, of course, about exam time for our post-secondary students. Instead of a time for beginnings, for them it is a final stretch toward the end. The end of the semester, the end of the school year, maybe even the end of their degree. So for me, it is no surprise at all that April is also Stress Awareness Month.
I know being told to ‘manage your stress’ is usually very annoying, and it is always easier said than done. But after going through all my classes and completing hundreds of practicum hours to become a social worker, I think I have learned a thing or two on the subject. From the very first day of my program all the way until the end, our instructors drilled into our brains the importance of self-care. They probably would have had it tattooed in capital letters on our foreheads if they could have. The thing is, no matter how many times people told me to take care of myself, no one really told me what that looked like, especially in college. Sometimes, like during exams, even the thought of attempting to not be stressed out was utterly laughable. Years down the line however, I realize that I was looking at it all wrong.
While in an ideal world we could do one leisurely activity and have our stress melt away, it just does not work like that. But I realized that I was thinking of stress as a yes-or-no check box on a form I fill out for my doctor, not as what it really is. Stress is a whole scale: with the seemingly unattainable blissful contentment on one end, and the complete opposite on the other. It is different for each of us, but we all know the feeling; worry, lack of energy, feeling a weight that you just can’t shake off, poor mental health, getting sick more often, panic attacks, disease flare-ups, you name it. So while the idea that self-care could magically make me feel blissful ease was comical, what it really does is completely legitimate. Doing self-care won’t bring you spectacularly to the top of the scale, but it will prevent you from sliding to the bottom. I had discounted it, because in my mind if it couldn’t make me feel stress-free, it didn’t work. But that was never the point; self-care is for preventing the worst outcomes of stress. And for me that usually meant getting sick, very sick.
Once I realized this small, yet humongous distinction, self-care took a new role in my life. It did not matter that my 30-minute walk to get fresh-air did not solve all my problems, I knew it was preventing bigger ones. This was a shift in perspective that allowed me to grow more in my personal and professional life. Even if I was doing all of the right things, none of it could help me if my mindset on why I was doing it was all wrong. No amount of bath sets or forced meditation could have ever been as valuable as this realization. And I am very happy to have this in my toolbelt as I head back to school next month.
For some, the purpose of self-care could take a lifetime to learn. If we could all realize and start practicing earlier, I think we would all live healthier more successful lives. So if you are a student reading this, even if it feels useless, make sure you are taking some time for yourself as you get through the end of the semester. If you are anyone else, you can benefit from this as well, whenever something comes up at home, work, or in the world around you that causes significant stress. And remember, self-care isn’t always something you want to do, but it is something you need to do. More on that in a later post!
